To be a goth on the inside, you don’t have to wear a lot of eyeliner or have sex in a cemetery. I’ve spent years stressing with death and life’s meaninglessness, but in a lighthearted way. I live my life as if it were a loose garment! I’ll raise my arms and whirl and grin like I’m in a shampoo commercial when the cold hand of death arrives pointing its bony finger at me.
Listen, we’re all alive and we’re all going to die. Everything you’ve done, spoken, or worried about in your life will be forgotten. You may even return as a different person, having forgotten about yourself. What I mean is that what makes life so amusing is how useless everything is! Isn’t it hilarious?
In This Article...
Aries: Jet-Ski Accident
When an Aries takes their last breath, you can expect they’ll do so quickly. Whether it occurs on a jet ski, motorcycle, or in the midst of some very rapid rebound sex, their death will undoubtedly be a tour-de-force exit; an Expiration Celebration, to use a phrase. They will die like they lived: joyfully and without trepidation.
Taurus: Buried Alive
Taurus people are devoted to their possessions. We can’t say that we blame them. With their cherub cheeks, large eyes, and charming trinkets, they’re incredibly cute folks. They collect things like germs on a first-grader, and getting rid of them could necessitate a reality TV crew or even an exorcism. Unless, of course, you’re too late and Taurus is discovered clutching a dead cat beneath a stack of dusty books and antique cooking spoons.
Gemini: Hands Bitten Off
In astrology, each sign has a ruling body part. It’s the hands for Gemini. Geminis are inquisitive, and they communicate their curiosity by touching objects. If you take them to the zoo on a date, they’ll reach into the monkey house’s bars and have their hands ripped off. You can read this article while they bleed out. Do it as soon as possible, before their life force runs out. Geminis excel at multitasking, thus bleeding heavily while listening to a story will appeal to them. They’ll most likely appreciate the distraction.
Cancer: Falling Of The Roof, Yelling, I’LL FIX IT MYSELF!
Cancer, you’re far too reliant on yourself. I know you believe no one can match your abilities, but the truth is that many individuals can. There are a lot of people who are far more capable than you.
Most likely, you’ll die attempting a task you’re not qualified to complete, such as patching a hole in your roof because “everyone is trying to rip you off,” or self-medicating mood stabilizers because “treatment is too expensive.” On the plus side, you can use the money you saved playing Mr. Fix-It to pay for your own funeral.
Leo: Hair Stuck In Subway Doors, Mid-Flirtatious Gesture
People may think you’re arrogant, but you’re not, Leo. You’re just incredibly attractive, and you’re well aware of it. But be wary of those lovely looks; recall how Narcissus drowned while admiring at his mirror in the water? You may have been the one who did it. Nobody bothers to gaze at nature anymore.
You’re more likely to take a selfie while crossing an intersection or flip your lovely hair over your shoulder, directly into the subway car’s shutting doors. Isn’t it a jumble?
Virgo: Dies of Undiagnosable Stress-Rash
Do you have a nagging feeling, Virgo? You are, of course! It’s not like anyone would notice. You’re not the sort to let your emotions get the best of you. Virgos don’t wear their emotions on their sleeves; instead, they manifest as hives, migraines, or indigestion on the inside of their bodies. You’re not going to throw a tantrum like a child; instead, like a true adult, you’re going to bottle up your feelings and let them turn into cancer!
Libra: Murder-Suicide Pact
Consider the love stories of Romeo and Juliet, Bonnie and Clyde, and Sid and Nancy. While these are all heartbreaking tales of love too precious for this harsh, cruel world, they all have one thing in common: everyone involved was insane and in desperate need of counseling.
Libra, love isn’t the only thing you require. You’ll also need rationality to avoid dying like a sad sack of garbage in a co-dependent narrative book that only teenagers can understand.
Scorpio: Just Suicide
There’s nothing surprising about this. Scorpios aren’t afraid of death. Indeed, death (in some form or another) appears to follow them around their entire lives. Personal transformation, loss, and near-death experiences are all examples of near-death experiences.
Scorpios understand that dying is the same as being reborn, thus they’re not afraid. It may be necessary to take matters into their own hands while waiting for Death to make a move that drives a Scorpio insane.
Sagittarius: Climbing Everest, Like An Idiot.
I know you like to travel and do wild things, Sagittarius, and I’m not trying to sour your lemonade, but there are some things you can do that won’t put your life in jeopardy. You can go to places where you won’t get typhoid, jungle hemorrhoids, or cold.
Not that you’ll pay attention to me if you’re in the thick of your next vision quest. No, you won’t be satisfied until you’ve been starved to the point of cannibalism, so that we can all watch the next dying-on-a-mountain movie. You knucklehead. It’s impossible for me to remain enraged with you.
Capricorn: Faked Death To See Who Shows Up To The Funeral, Results Cause Aneurysm
Capricorn, you must quit caring what others think of you. It’ll be the last straw for you. We all wear a society mask, but the problem about masks is that they are visible to everyone. The sooner you admit that you’re an acceptance-starved creature on the inside, the sooner you’ll receive the unconditional love you seek.
Alternatively, you may spend your entire life never believing anyone truly loves you and testing your theory by faking your own death. Regardless of how many people show up, the consequences will kill you.
Aquarius: Alone
My mum was born under the sign of Aquarius. She viewed the movie “Frida” after her divorce and decided that if she ever married again, her husband would have to have his own home. That’s not how marriage works, but who am I to stifle the marital ambitions of a revolutionary artist as forward-thinking as Nanny Baker? I just hope she’s prepared to die alone, because I’m planning on dying before I turn 40.
Take note, Aquarians: your priceless independence will transform your life into that of a magnificent stallion, wild and free. It also has the potential to make your death a little lonely.
Pisces: As A Human Sacrifice
If you don’t like feeling like a doormat, it’s been stated that you should get off the floor, but it would require you to like, move, and stuff. Codependency, Pisces, is defined by an agreement to work harder on someone else’s problem than they do. It isn’t love, but in some settings, such as treatment centers or 12-step programs, it can pass for it. You’re going to take it! This manner, you can die as a massive martyr, as you have lived.
Step into your power, Pisces, and put it to good use. Otherwise, it will be claimed by someone else.
What is the mental age of an Aries?
Their mental age is that of a child between the ages of one and seven. Aries is similar to the children of the zodiac. They are enthralled by everything and act as though it is the first time they are doing it. You’ve probably heard individuals in ads say, “Oh!” Wow, I had no idea till now. Aries is the same way. They are awestruck by the world around them. They are innocent, impulsive, naive, and self-centered.
When was the last time Aries was a sign?
Many astrologers believe that ages based on the vernal point travelling through the randomly sized zodiacal constellations or the sidereal zodiac are too unstable, and instead round all astrological eras to the nearest 2000 years. The years are usually nicely matched in this method, so that the Aries age is found from 2000 BC to AD 1, the Pisces age is discovered from AD 1 to AD 2000, the Aquarian Age is found from AD 2000 to AD 4000, and so on. The precession of the equinoxes is incompatible with this method. According to the precession of the equinoxes, a one-degree change occurs every 72 years, therefore a 30-degree shift will take 2160 years to complete.
Why are Aries people so attractive?
Aries is the first zodiac sign, according to astrology. If you were born between March 21 and April 21 (the spring equinox), you are an Aries. Aries are seductive when it comes to sex and romance because they exude confidence, even if they don’t feel it on the inside. In a world where everyone is expected to comply, the Ram does things his or her own way. Aries is a doer, not a talker, which garners admiration and can be a major draw for some.
Are Aries intelligent?
It’s an exciting period in your life when you get your first job. Receiving your first paycheck offers you a new lease on life, demonstrating that you are self-sufficient and capable of facing the challenges ahead. It provides you the self-assurance you need to go about your daily life, and it teaches you the actual meaning of accountability.
However, before you can bask in the light of your first paycheck, you must first succeed in your job. And, let’s face it, if it’s your first job, you probably don’t have much experience, right? Wrong. There is no doubt that you have a diverse set of experiences that can help you flourish at your profession.
Not only that, but as an Aries, you have certain characteristics that can help you excel in your new job. When you break down the things you’ve done in the past, you’ll notice that each one demands a different skill set and teaches you something different. Using an Aries’ personality traits can not only help you succeed in your first job, but it will also help you thrive.
Spontaneity
You, as an Aries, are impulsive and thrive in the unknown. Your method of action is “no plan, plan.” It’s all about how you work. While this may appear to be a disadvantage on the job, it might actually benefit you.
Do: At work, allow yourself to get little sidetracked. Staying focused isn’t always the most efficient approach to get things done for an Aries. Allowing for distractions can help you approach an issue or problem from a new, fresh viewpoint. It will improve your work performance and offer you an advantage in overcoming any challenges.
Don’t: Become irritable with the task at hand. The sign of Aries is noted for their impatience. If you’re trying to complete a task or find yourself losing patience when conversing with someone, take a break and allow yourself to be distracted. All we need is a little patience at times, and the rest will take care of itself.
Intelligence
People born under the sign of Aries are naturally brilliant. They’re also quick-witted. This can be highly beneficial in the office, since it can help you get support from coworkers. This admiration might grow over time and reach your superiors.
Do: Put your intelligence to work in a way that allows your emotional intelligence to show. There are numerous types of intelligence, and demonstrating that you can convey emotional intelligence will demonstrate to your employer that you are a mature, skilled team member.
Don’t: Make a show of your intelligence while dismissing others. The Aries people are prone to arrogance. You don’t have to prove your intelligence. It will naturally exude if you are intelligent.
Daring
Aries have a proclivity for rushing into tasks with little concern for the repercussions. Because Aries people set out to achieve everything they set their minds to, this ambitious mentality can benefit you at work.
Do: Put your adventurous and bold personality to good use at your new employment. Learn everything you can about the career or industry you’re working in, and utilize this information to increase your workplace confidence.
Whether you work in retail or accountancy, every firm has a story to tell. Find out what it is and impress your boss with your knowledge. This will make you stand out, and it will demonstrate that you care about the job you’re doing. It will also allow you to ask questions and engage with others with whom you work in a meaningful way.
Don’t: Take risks and don’t consider things out. You, as an Aries, are prone to being hasty. If you have a brilliant idea, discuss it with others. Consider your goal and how you plan to achieve it. Consider the consequences of your activities to help you prepare for the future and become a more responsible and reasonable employee.
Active And Energetic
Aries people are continuously on the lookout for new experiences. Being adventurous may seem out of place at work, but if you use it to your advantage, you will succeed. Because Aries people are constantly on the lookout for new experiences, growing bored with a task is not an option. Instead, try approaching the problem from a different perspective.
Do: Get your coworkers together and plan a physical activity. This will demonstrate your initiative while also allowing you to use some of the energy you’ve accumulated.
This practice can take many different forms. It could be a monthly hiking club, a weekly yoga session, or 5k training. Whatever it is, it’s a terrific opportunity to get to know your coworkers outside of the workplace and a fun new way to meet new people.
Don’t: Call somebody “lazy” because they aren’t working as hard as you are. It comes easily to you to be busy and enthusiastic. Just because you’re traveling a million miles per hour and your coworker isn’t doesn’t mean you should hold grudges against them. Recognize that everyone works differently, and what works for you might not work for someone next to you.
Independent
Do you enjoy working alone? That isn’t your fault, though. It’s spelled out in the stars. Just because you have a strong sense of independence doesn’t imply you can’t function in a team. Instead of allowing it affect your work performance, use it as an opportunity to show your true self.
Do: Demonstrate to your boss that you’re willing and competent to collaborate with others. When you need support, ask coworkers for assistance, provide aid if you observe someone struggling, and take on a shared activity with a coworker. Collaborate with your coworkers to come up with a novel idea to present to your boss.
Perhaps introducing a “Employee Of The Month” board, fresh name tags, or rearranging some things around the workplace to make it more efficient is a good suggestion.
Collaborate with someone to come up with a new idea for your place of business, and then propose it to your boss. It will undoubtedly make you stick out and make you appear to be a celebrity.
Don’t: Isolate yourself from the rest of the world. Make it clear to others that you’re available and prepared to collaborate. Collaborating with others does not diminish or compromise your autonomy. Instead, it demonstrates your adaptability and ability to work as part of a team. This is a highly valuable talent to develop.
Natural Leader
It’s natural to get excessively excited when you’re fresh to the workforce and want to show off your abilities right immediately. Always keep in mind that your excitement will go a long way.
You are a natural leader as an Aries. Many people born under this sign go on to become famous leaders. When you start a new job, use this to your advantage. Make a task your own by putting your unique spin on it. Of course, you want to think about other people and their needs, but you also want to stand out and be seen.
Do: Take command. In terms of your first employment, consider how you can contribute to the company. Check with your boss to see if there are any duties you can help with. Even better, do it yourself. This can take a variety of forms depending on the work, such as assisting with social media management, promoting on behalf of the company, or simply ensuring that there is always coffee in the pot.
Have something over which you have complete control and ownership. Your boss will appreciate your eagerness, and he or she will also notice that your independence is not a barrier, but rather a welcome addition to the workplace.
Don’t: If you have an idea and your boss doesn’t believe it’s right for the job or you, don’t take it personally. Rejection is something that everyone goes through at some point in their lives. Your idea may not work in this time and space, but that does not mean it will never work. Take it as an ego lesson, and let it go. Continue to come up with ideas, though, because it will show your tenacity and determination.
Generous
People born under the sign of Aries have a genuine desire to help others. This is a unique quality that will allow others to approach you and look up to you for help or guidance when they require it. Use this to your advantage at your new employment, so others will feel at ease confiding in you and asking for assistance.
Do: Allow others to benefit from your skills and abilities. Have conversations with your coworkers, and pay attention to what they’re saying more than what you’re saying.
This will not only demonstrate that you care, but it may also motivate you. You might pick up some useful information that will assist you boost your job performance.
Don’t: Be egotistical. As an Aries, you have a tendency to be greedy and possessive. Rather than keeping your thoughts to yourself, share what you know and do so with a grin. You’ll find that learning to share opens up a world of possibilities for you.
The conclusion here is that just because you’re starting your first job doesn’t mean you’re a rookie. Use the excellent Aries characteristics you’ve developed to stand out and make a great impression on your boss and coworkers.
Keep in mind that you already own all of the necessary instruments to do this task. It’s something your boss believes, and it’s something you should believe as well.
How will a Leo pass away?
Leos are egotistical and self-centered. They adore attention and can’t seem to get enough of it. One of the ways they can die is if they are ignored by someone very close to them. They go off on their own tangent, and in the process of self-destruction, they are hit by a vehicle.
Is Pisces the last sign of the zodiac?
Neptune is the planet of dreams, illusions, compassion, spirituality, and art, according to astrology. The planetary ruler of Pisces is, of course, this enigmatic figure. Pisces’ energy, on the other hand, is much more than a magical fairy tale or a way of looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. This energy has a very otherworldly quality to it, and it isn’t often associated with fiction. As a reminder that all you need is love, Pisces is also a symbol of selflessness and sacrifice.
It’s no surprise that this mutable water sign is dominating the feed, as it represents your spiritual journey and return to the divine. Pisces’ symbol is two fish swimming in opposite directions, but it also represents the sign’s eternal duality. One fish represents your spiritual development as it progresses to another dimension, while the other represents your human experience in the physical realm.
Pisces is the zodiac’s last sign, but that doesn’t make it any less important. Pisces is both God and humanity, and you can only achieve this level of consciousness if you’ve reached the pinnacle of your spiritual development. This is the sign of Pisces.
(March 21st to April 19th)
For an Aries, the most typical last words are “Please hold my beer.” Their adventurous spirit is a desirable trait unless they do something spectacularly idiotic like riding a bicycle down a cliff or disappearing when visiting a new nation “It’s completely safe.”
(April 20th to May 21st)
A Taurus will perish doing something they believe they can do on their own but shouldn’t. Enjoy being crushed behind the bookshelf you thought you could move alone!
(May 22nd to June 21st)
A Gemini will perish if he or she makes the wrong friends. They’re so nice and upbeat that they see the good in everyone, even those who shout “bad for you.” While they claim to have good intuition, they’ll be killed by their mistaken faith in a friend’s fixer upper.