Listen, we’re all alive and we’re all going to die. Everything you’ve done, spoken, or worried about in your life will be forgotten. You may even return as a different person, having forgotten about yourself. What I mean is that what makes life so amusing is how useless everything is! Isn’t it hilarious?
In This Article...
Aries: Jet-Ski Accident
When an Aries takes their last breath, you can expect they’ll do so quickly. Whether it occurs on a jet ski, motorcycle, or in the midst of some very rapid rebound sex, their death will undoubtedly be a tour-de-force exit; an Expiration Celebration, to use a phrase. They will die like they lived: joyfully and without trepidation.
Taurus: Buried Alive
Taurus people are devoted to their possessions. We can’t say that we blame them. With their cherub cheeks, large eyes, and charming trinkets, they’re incredibly cute folks. They collect things like germs on a first-grader, and getting rid of them could necessitate a reality TV crew or even an exorcism. Unless, of course, you’re too late and Taurus is discovered clutching a dead cat beneath a stack of dusty books and antique cooking spoons.
Gemini: Hands Bitten Off
In astrology, each sign has a ruling body part. It’s the hands for Gemini. Geminis are inquisitive, and they communicate their curiosity by touching objects. If you take them to the zoo on a date, they’ll reach into the monkey house’s bars and have their hands ripped off. You can read this article while they bleed out. Do it as soon as possible, before their life force runs out. Geminis excel at multitasking, thus bleeding heavily while listening to a story will appeal to them. They’ll most likely appreciate the distraction.
Cancer: Falling Of The Roof, Yelling, “I’LL FIX IT MYSELF!”
Cancer, you’re far too reliant on yourself. I know you believe no one can match your abilities, but the truth is that many individuals can. There are a lot of people who are far more capable than you.
Most likely, you’ll die attempting a task you’re not qualified to complete, such as patching a hole in your roof because “everyone’s trying to rip you off” or self-medicating mood stabilizers because “treatment is too expensive.” On the plus side, you can use the money you saved playing Mr. Fix-It to pay for your own funeral.
Leo: Hair Stuck In Subway Doors, Mid-Flirtatious Gesture
People may think you’re arrogant, but you’re not, Leo. You’re just incredibly attractive, and you’re well aware of it. But be wary of those good looks; recall how Narcissus drowned while admiring at his mirror in the water? You may have been the one who did it. Nobody bothers to gaze at nature anymore.
You’re more likely to take a selfie while crossing an intersection or flip your lovely hair over your shoulder, directly into the subway car’s shutting doors. Isn’t it a jumble?
Virgo: Dies of Undiagnosable Stress-Rash
Do you have a nagging feeling, Virgo? You are, of course! It’s not like anyone would notice. You’re not the sort to let your emotions get the best of you. Virgos don’t wear their emotions on their sleeves; instead, they manifest as rashes, migraines, or indigestion on the inside of their bodies. You’re not going to throw a tantrum like a child; instead, like a true adult, you’re going to bottle up your feelings and let them turn into cancer!
Libra: Murder-Suicide Pact
Consider the love stories of Romeo and Juliet, Bonnie and Clyde, and Sid and Nancy. While these are all heartbreaking tales of love too precious for this harsh, cruel world, they all have one thing in common: everyone involved was insane and in desperate need of counseling.
Libra, love isn’t the only thing you require. You’ll also need rationality to avoid dying like a sad sack of garbage in a co-dependent narrative book that only teenagers can understand.
Scorpio: Just Suicide
There’s nothing surprising about this. Scorpios aren’t afraid of death. Indeed, death (in some form or another) appears to follow them around their entire lives. Personal transformation, loss, and near-death experiences are all examples of near-death experiences.
Scorpios understand that dying is the same as being reborn, thus they’re not afraid. It may be necessary to take matters into their own hands while waiting for Death to make a move that drives a Scorpio insane.
Sagittarius: Climbing Everest, Like An Idiot.
I know you like to travel and do wild things, Sagittarius, and I’m not trying to sour your lemonade, but there are some things you can do that won’t put your life in jeopardy. You can go to places where you won’t get typhoid, jungle hemorrhoids, or hypothermia.
Not that you’ll pay attention to me if you’re in the thick of your next vision quest. No, you won’t be pleased until you’ve been starved to the point of cannibalism, so that we can all watch the next dying-on-a-mountain movie. You knucklehead. It’s impossible for me to remain enraged with you.
Capricorn: Faked Death To See Who Shows Up To The Funeral, Results Cause Aneurysm
Capricorn, you must quit caring what others think of you. It’ll be the last straw for you. We all wear a society mask, but the problem about masks is that they are visible to everyone. The sooner you admit that you’re an acceptance-starved creature on the inside, the sooner you’ll receive the unconditional love you seek.
Alternatively, you may spend your entire life never believing anyone truly loves you and testing your theory by faking your own death. Regardless of how many people show up, the consequences will kill you.
Aquarius: Alone
My mum was born under the sign of Aquarius. She viewed the movie “Frida” after her divorce and decided that if she ever married again, her husband would have to have his own home. That’s not how marriage works, but who am I to stifle the marital ambitions of a revolutionary artist as forward-thinking as Nanny Baker? I just hope she’s prepared to die alone, because I’m planning on dying before I turn 40.
Take note, Aquarians: your priceless independence will transform your existence into that of a wild and free horse. It also has the potential to make your death a little lonely.
Pisces: As A Human Sacrifice
If you don’t like feeling like a doormat, it’s been stated that you should get off the floor, but it would require you to like, move, and stuff. Codependency, Pisces, is defined by an agreement to work harder on someone else’s problem than they do. It isn’t love, but in some settings, such as treatment centers or 12-step programs, it can pass for it. You’re going to take it! This manner, you can die as a massive martyr, as you have lived.
Step into your power, Pisces, and put it to good use. Otherwise, it will be claimed by someone else.
How do Scorpios usually die?
One of the ways they can die is if they are ignored by someone very close to them. They will almost certainly perish since they took far too long to make a decision. Scorpio: Death by a cold-blooded shooting. Scorpions are well-known for their daring, passionate, and obsessive personalities.
Would Scorpios kill?
Scorpions have an undeservedly terrible reputation, at least when it comes to their ability to kill. Only approximately a quarter of the 1,500 species of scorpions are capable of killing humans with their stings. Even though their neurotoxins can produce symptoms like convulsions and shortness of breath, most of these potentially lethal scorpions can’t kill healthy individuals. Even though a few scorpions, such as the Death Stalker (Leiurus quinquestriatus) of North and Southwest Africa, are potent enough to kill even physically fit stingees, depending on the victim’s innate tolerance for the venom, infants and the elderly are most at risk of dying once stung by the deadliest species.
What are Scorpios afraid of?
09/13Scorpio Scorpios are apprehensive about getting close to anyone, especially other Scorpios. They are afraid of being wounded if they express themselves in front of others. Scorpios are sensitive, but they also tend to push people away because they are fearful of losing their uniqueness in a relationship.
Who do Scorpios end up with?
Despite the fact that Scorpio season is from October 23 to November 11, this fiery water sign should have no trouble finding love this summer. Scorpio’s top five complementing signs in the sphere of relationships are Cancer, Capricorn, Virgo, Pisces, and Taurus, according to the findings of Compatible Astrology, while Leo and Aquarius are the least compatible. Of fact, this is more of a suggestion than a hard rule, as people’s personalities are influenced by both the planets and their surroundings. “We need to calculate those other planet positions from their date of birth and compare them to your own to completely comprehend someone or determine how compatible you are with them. This unlocks astrology’s true potential and provides much more helpful and particular information, such as how they perceive you, how to turn them on, how to avoid disputes with them, and so on.” (Image courtesy of Compatible Astrology).
Susan Miller, best-selling author and founder of Astrology Zone, agrees, giving the top two combinations of Cancer and Capricorn a 10 (through Astrology Zone) and “two enthusiastic thumbs up,” respectively. Because both signs cherish family life, Miller believes that pairing Scorpio with a fellow water sign like Cancer allows for an intuitive link and opens the door to a fruitful union (via Astrology Zone). Scorpio may benefit equally from an earth sign coupling with Capricorn, she adds, because security, ambition, and sex are top goals for both signs (via Astrology Zone).
Can Scorpio and Pisces get back together?
Aside from that, these two zodiac signs create a very sexy and seductive couple. Scorpio’s intensity, on the other hand, may be a touch too much for the more laid-back Pisces. Welch believes Pisces will regret abandoning their relationship with Scorpio for physical grounds if they break up.
Are Scorpios good at fighting?
They’re also strategic fighters who aren’t afraid to damage bridges with anyone in order to win a fight. It’s difficult to win an argument with a Scorpio since they are skilled at shifting the focus and twisting everything against you, and they are stubborn and harbor grudges.
How do Scorpios take revenge?
If you make a mistake with a Scorpio, hire a bodyguard and sleep with one eye open. A Scorpio’s middle name is vengeance, and they choose the most heinous form of vengeance possible.
By the time they’re done with you, you’ll be on your knees begging for forgiveness, as they make sure your pain is never-ending, humiliating, horrific, and all-around horrible. A Scorpio, on the other hand, does not give up easy. Allowing you to get away with a slap on the wrist, in their opinion, disrupts the universe’s balance. Giving you what you deserve at work is merely justice, and they’re ready to go to such unimaginable lengths to exact vengeance that, in the end, they should be the ones apologizing. If you expect it to happen, you’re dreaming.
What body part do Scorpios like?
Scorpio is the sign of the genitals, so most people equate it with, well, sex! Scorpio, on the other hand, represents creation and transformation because it regulates the entire reproductive system as well as the blood system. Scorpios think that love is ultimately responsible for the creation of all life. Scorpios, however, are sexual beings, as their name suggests. Simply exhibit your passionate side for romance, and this will be quite appealing!
