You’ve undoubtedly been briefly blinded by a Gemini’s talk and charisma if you’ve hooked up with her. It’s like being inside a butterfly pavilion when you’re with a Gemini. You don’t know where to look first because everything is so light and airy, so attractive and fascinating. Her tinkerbell laugh and childish enthusiasm in everyone and everything will fascinate you. You’ll believe you’ve landed in a land of fairy dust and fairies. You haven’t, believe me.
She’s shallow, ADHD, unable to commit, anxious, and has no sense of direction.
To her whirling dervish of a mind, everything is fresh, entertaining, and interesting, therefore she remembers very little knowledge and is continually flying off to the next flower. She’s a tease because she can’t commit to one person and sex is frequently ‘too much’ for her, so she flits around driving everyone, including her spouse, insane. Given her dual nature, she’s also exceedingly irritable and a tangle of nerves due to her proclivity for biting off more than she can chew.
In This Article...
Cancer (June 21st July 22nd)
Be prepared to cry if you’re dealing with a Cancer. Nonstop. Over everything and nothing at the same time The woman has low self-esteem and is constantly seeking external validation. Due to her thick outer shell, she may appear intriguing and enigmatic at first, but once you’ve broken through and dedicated yourself to her, she transforms into a stage 9 clinger.
But don’t get me wrong: it’s not all horrible. If you’re a tit-man, you’re in for a treat since Cancer women have excellent racks.
Leo (July 23rd August 22nd)
The Leo woman’s mantra is “Off with their heads!” She doesn’t simply idolize Beyonc; she believes she is her, and you, peasant, will treat her accordingly. She has a jealous streak that rivals that of a Taurus or Scorpio lady, but she adds to it a flair for the dramatic. Prepare for public fights, drinks thrown in your face, screaming about how lucky you are that she even spoke to you, how she can’t believe she wasted her time with someone who only made/did/went to (insert income/job/school here), and then stomping off with one of her stilettos.
You might believe she stomped off home, but chances are she stomped off to your apartment once she calmed down. Now that the panther has licked her wounds a little, you might find your Leo lady on the kitten side. You’ll find her snuggled up in your bed, smelling like a perfume store, her complexion gleaming, her makeup flawless, her hair cascading all over her leopard print silk nightie, and nearly cooing to you about how sorry she is.
Virgo (August 23rd September 22nd)
The original nagger, complainer, and hypochondriac is the Virgo woman. It appears charming at first: she expresses her love for him through deeds of service. You’ll never have to inquire where your socks are, if a payment has been paid, or what’s for dinner because she’s so organized. Everything will be pre-planned and taken care of, with an excel spreadsheet and a Google calendar marked off for the following six months.
Slowly, however, the nagging begins. The critiques are numerous. Illnesses that don’t exist. Because of all the vitamins she takes, your house will smell like protein powder and B-12 tablets (and will make you take too). What began as a friendly nudge to go to the gym more or enroll in that evening class will quickly escalate into a full-fledged critique of your beer gut and lack of professional ambition. While the sex will be earthy and sensual at first (there WILL be a towel put out, and don’t you DARE get a drop on the covers), it will ultimately dry up. If that isn’t enough to make you flee, the humidifier, nasal strips, compression socks, white cotton granny underwear, and neck pillow strategically placed to promote a restful, healthy sheep should. Unless you’re another Virgo, in which case you can live happily ever after in a small hypoallergenic bubble with her.
Libra (September 23rd October 22nd)
Consider the first time you met your lovely Libra lady. Remember how she grinned, tossed her hair, and looked at you as if you were the only and most intriguing person on the planet? Remember how you felt like royalty when you left? You, on the other hand, aren’t. That’s something she does with everyone. It’s how she obtains what she wants.
Libra’s ‘psycho’ emerges quickly, but she’s so excellent at persuading others to see what she wants them to see that you might never notice. Manipulation comes as naturally to her as breathing. She’s socially graceful, charming, and a superb conversationalist. She has so many friends and lovers, and she is so good at keeping them apart, that she doesn’t simply live a double life; she lives a tripe, quadruple existence. But damn if she isn’t nice and feminine, and she doesn’t look at you like the big powerful man (or lady) you are, you won’t believe a word I say! (Believe me when I say I’m a Libra.) In the end, it’s your indecisiveness that will do you in, not your lying, half-truths, or manipulating. Until the cows come home, this woman can discuss and deliberate. Fortunately for you, Libra is a pretty self-absorbed sign, so she won’t notice you’ve packed your belongings and left town until you’ve been gone for quite some time. She was too preoccupied with the benefits of ketchup vs catsup to notice.
Scorpio (October 23rd November 21st)
I’m not going to go into detail about how the Scorpio woman drew you in. It was probably a combination of sexual titillation, savage cleverness, and “The Rules.” This woman understands the game and plays it flawlessly.
If you do cross her, don’t say you weren’t warned. Pluto, the planet of death, destruction, and regeneration, is Scorpio’s natural ruler. Mars, the planet named after the God of War, is their secondary ruler. This is a powerful combination. She is capable of, and frequently does, playing a long game. This is the woman who will bear the knowledge of your affair for months on end, smiling sweetly at you the entire time while putting arsenic in your coffee. This is the woman who will track down the person you’re sleeping with and torture them with anonymous letters and threats, hang-up phone calls, drive-bys, and other forms of mental abuse. Miss Scorpio will do it so deftly that everyone will believe your lover is insane. Here’s the woman who, in the end, will find your favorite items and set them on fire while you watch, then walk out the door with your childhood best friend, whom she’d enslaved from the moment she discovered you’d wronged her. Revenge isn’t just a cold-weather dish for her; it’s her all-time favorite.
Sagittarius (November 22nd December 21st )
Sags, the zodiac’s archers, are recognized for their agility, sense of humor, and friendly demeanor. They’re the proverbial ‘lampshade-on-the-head’ party gals, with a live-and-let-live attitude and raunchy quips that will have you gripping your sides. The archer lady, like their male counterparts, doesn’t see the sense in wasting time before leaping into bed with you. The reason you’re going to stay? She won’t ring your phone with inquiries like “Where is this going?” or “I never do that, I hope you don’t think I’m a slut!” since she’s easy, and she has absolutely no qualms about outmoded notations of female sexuality.
What’s the true reason she hasn’t blown up your phone? She’s too preoccupied with doing it for everyone. When you catch her cheating for the seventh or eighth time (and she won’t try to conceal it; Sags are all about honesty), she’ll be perplexed as to why you’re upset. The dishes will fly as she becomes enraged that you are attempting to ‘own’ her. In addition to the television. And there’s the radio. And you’ve got your weight in place. She’ll also take anything she can get her hands on. While she’s wrecking your home, she’ll be telling you how she feels in the crudest language possible, with no regard for your feelings. What is my best piece of advice for someone dating a Sagittarius lady? Don’t expect to tie her down, and make sure you have the number of a decent clinic on speed dial in case you need an emergency dosage of penicillin when she returns from her road trip from Vegas. Except for that troublesome case of the clap she carried home with her, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Capricorn: (December 22nd January 19th)
You probably met your Capricorn girl at a ‘classy’ event, such as a high-end auction, a law firm meetup group, or interning at the White House. This is due to the fact that the female has ambitions. She’s driven in the truest meaning of the term, and nothing will stand in her way of attaining her objectives. Even you aren’t immune. You, in particular.
With her twinsets, pearls, and nicely highlighted hair, she’s the kind of girl you can take home to mum. She’s incredibly intelligent, and she’ll be able to converse with your mother about cuisine and your father about politics. In the bedroom, she’s a firebrand, and most fetishes don’t bother her. But, before you ask yourself, “What’s the problem?” Let’s start with YOU, dear reader. There’s a good chance you come from a family with money, connections, or a surname. She isn’t with you because she enjoys your company. She’s with you because she can get something from you. You’re nothing more than a stepping stone on her route to the top, and once she gets there (and believe me, she will), you’ll have served your purpose and be put aside. If the sex was good, she might keep you around for a few more years to vent her frustrations, or perhaps persuade you to marry her, but tread carefully. The Capricorn lady only has one person in mind, and it’s not you.
Aquarius: (January 20th February 18th)
The water-bearers are adorable and odd. You most likely met her when she volunteered at the animal shelter where you got your dog. She’ll always be outspoken and intelligent, and she’ll probably come across as laid-back and upbeat. She’s a true humanitarian who knows her thoughts and sticks to her guns when she makes a decision.
When all of that unusual, quirky energy becomes grating, things will start to turn sour. You’ll have a hard time following her logic because she’ll use obscure quotes and non-sequiturs. Aquarius is the zodiac’s most distant sign, therefore she doesn’t really have any pals, only a lot of diverse acquaintances from various backgrounds that she accumulates. She has no concept how to interact to another person, physically or emotionally, so when your grandma passes away and you’re crying and heartbroken, she’ll probably just gaze at you and ask why you’re grievingafter all, she was 87 years old.
She won’t waste much time worrying about it after that, instead shrugging her shoulders and returning her gaze to her book about underwater basket weaving or whatever other nonsense she’s currently engrossed in. She’s exceedingly selfish sexuallyagain, because she has a loner complex and is entirely cut off from her partner and friends. She’ll let you do all the work and never thought to return the favor. You won’t be the one to go eventually; you’ll just wake up one day to find that she’s packed her belongings and left the nation to work with disadvantaged llamas in Nepal, leaving behind nothing but her astronomy diorama and a few science fiction books she couldn’t fit in her bag.
Pisces (February 19th March 20th)
You most likely met this girl at a bar, as she enjoys getting her drink on. And she’s got her coke on. And she’s got her molly on. To get blotto, I’ll do anything. Pisces are the zodiac’s junkies. While all that drinking and recreational drug usage may appear to be enjoyable and carefree at first, it gradually evolves into a string of debilitating hangovers, as well as an empty cash account from all those excursions to the bar.
Even less ambitious than the Gemini lady is the Pisces woman. She’ll work if necessary, but she’d rather spend her days and nights at the bottom of a bottle, penning nonsense poetry, smearing paint on a canvas, or simply staring at the sky. Because “you have no clue what it’s like to be her,” she has a martyr complex, and you’ll start fighting because “you have no idea what it’s like to be her.” She’ll become depressed and gloomy, speaking in short words and making thinly veiled attempts at suicide. Her temper flares up now and then, with its drunken lashing tongue and uncontrollable crying fits. You’ll eventually heal from this one at your own rehab clinic, once you understand that all the tears, liquor, and drugs were never truly going to end in suicide, and you muster the strength to come up for air and dry off from your Pisces girl.
Being too indecisive.
Because you’re interfering with their route, being all over the place and indecisive will drive them insane.
Rather, try to persuade the Virgo in your life that not everyone makes decisions as quickly as you do.
Is Virgo a wacky zodiac sign?
We all knew Scorpios were going to be the craziest ex-partners. Scorpios are dangerous because they use comedy to hide their darkness, but don’t be deceived; it’s all a ruse. Whereas other signs could phone you 17 times in one night or cry on your doorstep for months after a breakup, Scorpios will retreat into their old lives, quietly fuming at you, casting a hex on your family, and watching you move on. Everything you do after you’ve been broken up with is considered a sin against them. Oh, you’re on a vacation without me? Oh, you’re dating You are, of course. Just remember that your Scorpio ex is watching you and is still mad, even if you haven’t heard from them.
Leo
Because breakups hurt their egos, Leos make wild ex-girlfriends. It’s bad enough that they have to deal with the humiliation of informing everyone they know that they’ve ended yet another relationship, but the idea that you don’t want them, or even want to try to make it work, upsets them so much that they lash out in ways they don’t mean. It’s not that Leos are awful people by nature; it’s simply that when they fall in love, they adopt that person into their identity, and losing that identity is a very painful process. As a result, madness develops. Your Leo ex-lovers will contact you. And you’ll hear from them frequently.
Gemini
Geminis are ranked third on the list of most insane ex-partners because they are so caught up in their feelings after the breakup that they don’t know what to do. It’s not so much that your Gemini ex is still in love with you (though they could be); it’s that they’ve leaned on you for so long to help them work through their emotions that they’re lost without you. They’re probably still holding on for the same reason: they don’t want to face life alone. Geminis are polarizing, which makes them wild exs. They still adore you one minute, then they’re fine with being friends the next, and then they’re writing paragraph-long explanations of why they’re unhappy with you, along with all of the supporting evidence that proves their annoyance is justified.
Virgo
Virgos, like Scoripos, are high on the list of insane ex-girlfriends because they are the ones you don’t expect. On the surface, your Virgo ex seems unconcerned about what happened, but all of their obsessive and volatile tendencies are bubbling just beneath the surface. Virgos are known for being overthinkers, which means they’re the exes you should avoid at all costs. They’re the sort to let all of their crazy thoughts stew long enough that one day they’ll lash out at you and you’ll have no idea what triggered it. (Nothing happened; they simply need to tell you that they despise you, which they’ve been thinking about for the previous two weeks.)
Pisces
The most emo exes are Pisces. They are the most dramatic when it comes to, um, anything, but especially when it comes to love. They may send you a random 2 a.m. text now and then, but mostly you’ll have poetry written about you, they’ll stare at the sky and listen to early 2000s music while imagining meeting you in the afterlife to discuss your fated encounter, and then they’ll channel all of their repressed pain into either the most inspired art you’ve ever seen, or pure, unadulterated rage.
Cancer
Cancers fall right in the middle of the “cool to crazy” spectrum since they are both really capable of disengaging from prior partners once relationships have run their course and, at the same time, have a drive for retribution that spirals into some type of self-doubt. Cancers are the zodiac’s most emotional sign, but they’re also the ones that are most attached to their homes, their connections, their devotion, and their partnerships. They are, of course, the CRAB, which contributes significantly to their demeanor. Cancers have the most difficult time losing love of all the signs, but they are also the best at rebounding for themselves. They understand that there are other fish (crabs?) in the sea, and that they will be able to have the experience they desire, but not with the person they left.
Capricorn
When they lose love, Capricorns become enraged. They aren’t as insane as you are because they aren’t going to lash out at you, but they aren’t going to sit back and take it either. Capricorns are organized and self-motivated, and they normally focus all of their efforts on improving themselves or their circumstances in some quantifiable, observable way. Know that a Capricorn deals with everything by committing to a massive quantity of self-improvement; it’s how they regain control. They’ll eventually move on and perceive you as somewhat beneath their newly enlightened selves, and everything will be back to normal in their reality.
Libra
Libras are romantics, which is ironically what helps them recover from a breakup. They understand that they can find love again, and they do. Libras are extremely vain, and they despise the idea of being labeled as the “mad ex.” It’s just not a cute look, and Libras, above all, prefer to project a sense of beauty and balance, even if they’re drowning in their own anguish. So, it’s not that a Libra isn’t a crazy ex; it’s just that they’re highly reluctant to admit how much they still care about you. They also seem to move on fast, or at least make it appear like they do. In either case, they give the impression of rebounding quickly and forcefully, and it works.
Aquarius
The interesting thing about Aquarius is that they don’t seem to care as much as other people when they break up with you. Yes, they can be heartbroken, but unlike other symptoms, they will not absorb it. Instead, they’ll put all of that energy into something else useful, and you’ll have no idea how badly they’ve been hurt. (Ironically, this is also what causes a lot of their relationships to fail: an inability to articulate or reveal their genuine sentiments.) They are low on the craziness meter since they are easily distracted from anything. They’ve got things to do, you know?
Taurus
The Tauruses of the world should have ranked a little higher on the crazy scale, but they won’t because they’re too prone to making things appear stable on the surface, leading them to believe they’re happier post-split than they really are. After all, a Taurus ex is someone you’re unlikely to hear from again. They will progress to greater and better things. Even if they’re really feeling it, they won’t act out or let you know because that’s not their way. However, once you’ve crossed them, there’s no turning back. These folks (sort of) forgive, but they never forget.
Sagittarius
Sags are laid-back exes. They’re like, “Ouch, wow, I’m very unhappy about this,” and then they’re like, “OK, let’s go climb a mountain and backpack in Peru and read a book about reincarnation.” They’re simply the least prone to internalize heartbreak and the most inclined to find anything else to do than sit around and mope about it. More than any other sign, Sags are well-rounded individuals. They’ll get over it quickly, but they’ll also be the most likely to hook up again casually afterwards.
Aries
When an Aries abandons you, they are unconcerned. Do not tamper with an Aries’ heart because they will just say, “OK, peace,” and that will be the end of it. When it occurs to Aries that you are incompatible or that your relationship isn’t going anywhere, staying together seems absurd, and if it is illogical, why would you sit around worrying about it? They just move on since it doesn’t make sense. Exes with the most cold are a ten out of ten. On a scale of one to ten, they are the least likely to care about reuniting.
A Virgo woman is what kind of person she is.
A person born between August 23rd and September 22nd is known as a Virgo. Virgos are noted for their practicality, prudence, and faithfulness. They’re fantastic buddies and companions.
Virgos are perfectionists, and they can be precise and single-minded in their quest of perfection. This, on the other hand, makes them tremendously committed to the people in their lives and aids their professional success.
Is it true that Virgos are psychopaths?
07/13Virgo A strong emotional psychopath can be a Virgo. They can be quite deceptive at times. They can rationalize their acts by convincing you that whatever they did was for the greater benefit.
How does a Virgo express regret?
Virgo, although being one of the most intelligent signs, has occasions when she is completely stumped as to how to be smart in a difficult scenario.
Virgo will never knowingly harm another person. Instead, she may become so engrossed in her own little world that she unwittingly says or does something inappropriate.
When Virgo realizes she has made a mistake, she will act quickly to correct it.
This could range from a long, passionate speech expressing her regret to bringing you your favorite dishes for the coming week.
Why are Virgos so cruel?
Virgos have a high-maintenance personality, and they are regarded as “perfectionists” who strive for perfection in even the smallest details. This trait can be particularly vexing because they have a tendency to be petty behind others’ backs. They also like to complain a lot.
What is a Virgo’s flaw?
When Virgo’s criticism is unchecked, it might come back to haunt them as well as others. They can become overly critical, and their perfectionist attitude can cause them to be overly critical of everyone and everything, including themselves. The picture of oneself they attempt to achieve can be impossible to achieve, and when they do, they can be quite hard on themselves. They are frequently plagued with anxiety, and if they are unable to relieve it through self-improvement activities, they may experience nervous breakdowns.
What is the Virgo woman’s flaw?
That brings us to another of their flaws: they’re indecisive “Fixers,” they say. When they see something that could be bettered, they have a strong desire to improve it “That’s correct.” But not everything can (or should) be mended.